When food FOMO chokes you

So last week I choked on a piece of pie. Not ‘I got a little bit in my windpipe because it was crumbly’ kind of choked – ‘a doctor had to come over to my table while I vomited in a bowl’ kind of choked.

I was out for dinner with my family. It was a really nice restaurant – in the ‘burbs, but expensive enough to call it a ‘special occasion’ restaurant. We’d had a nice meal, and despite many voices saying “oh no, I don’t need dessert” we’d ordered a couple to share. I can’t say I was sad about it – I’d got food FOMO, seen an opportunity to justify eating dessert (“it’s a birthday! Someone else is paying!”), and I got my way. We ordered creme brulee and pie.

Sharing desserts is bad for me. I get really Food FOMO-y, I eat too fast, I don’t enjoy what I’m eating, I just shovel it in. Finish this mouthful at any cost so you can shovel in the next.

So was eating pie (and to be honest it wasn’t even good pie). I took a spoonful of pie crust, and just kind of… inhaled, I guess. I don’t know if I went to speak, or just went to eat the mouthful quickly, but either way I felt the food hit that point of no return at the back of my throat. There’s that moment where you feel the food moving backwards, but you know you can’t bring it forward in your mouth to chew it- it’s going down. Whole.

Long story short although the food was stuck, I could still breathe. It was scary, it was painful (I bruised my throat to the point that I couldn’t eat solid food for the next 24 hours), but mostly it was embarrassing. Embarrassing that it happened in a restaurant, embarrassing that is happened in front of my family, embarrassing that a doctor noticed and came over to help. But mostly, it was embarrassing because it only happened because I was trying to shove food in my mouth so I wouldn’t miss out. Food that was full of processed carbs and sugar, that I didn’t need, that wasn’t even that good anyway.

Advertisements

What Eat like an Adult means

Alright. As referred to a couple of days ago, here’s what Eating like an Adult means to me:

  • Wine is for weekends (and so is any other alcohol)
  • Take breakfast and lunch to work every day
  • Cook dinner most nights
  • All baked goods consumed must be home made
  • If goods are going to be baked, a raw option must be seriously considered first
  • Food preparation and planning is essential. Bulk shopping and cooking will happen on Sundays or Monday nights
  • One coffee per day- two on weekends
  • Work towards the long black with milk. Work away from the latte.
  • Craving something sweet? Eat fruit
  • Craving something sweet? Eat some good fat
  • No bread, no rice
  • Eat as little sugar as possible. The WHO recommends 6 teaspoons a day- aim for that
  • Dessert is a sometimes food. So is chocolate.
  • Have Loving Earth or Pana Chocolate in the house at all times, and eat sparingly when required
  • Re-visit raw chocolate mousse
  • In times of Take-Away, there will be no rice and no roti consumed
  • No diet soft drink. No full-sugar soft drink. No juice.
  • Water and mineral water, lots of it
  • Focus on good protein and lots of vegetables at meal times
  • Protein doesn’t need to be meat
  • Make home made hommus
  • Love cooking. Invest time into cooking. Reinvigorate cooking as a hobby.
  • Figure out how to satisfy the 3 pm craving at work. Cook or bake accordingly.
  • Eating out? Soup is a good choice. You always enjoy it more than you think you will.
  • Eating out? Choose the most delicious looking meat-and-veg dish you can see on the menu. You might like the idea of the pasta, but you’ll like the taste of the other dish more.
  • Choice between salad and chips? Go the salad
  • Read the packets. Stick with the natural stuff. If you’re going to eat pre-made, then make sure the ingredient list looks like a recipe list.
  • Control the food fomo. When there’s lots of food on offer, take only what you need (not what you want)
  • Listen. Is your body hungry? Are you bored? Are you dehydrated?
  • Know what qualifies as a special occasion. Choose your moments to indulge/celebrate.
  • Do not indulge on a daily/weekly basis
  • If you’re going to eat like a kid, at least make it worth doing (don’t eat the really bad high-calorie food. Eat the really good high-calorie food. Choose the cheese over the chips)
  • The following foods are not to be eaten every single day, but nor are they to be associated with guilt when consumed:
    – Sweet potato
    – Cheese
    – Loving Earth or Pana Chocolate
    – Any ‘raw’ home-baked goods
    – Corn
    – Barley/Quinoa
  • Eat nothing from service stations. Eat nothing from fast food outlets.

So there you go. I might come back to this list and add stuff- I might decided some of it’s not so adult after all. I might call this list The Rules- or I might find that restrictive, and not. We’ll see!

Food FOMO

food fomoOver the last week, I’ve been playing with the idea of food FOMO. I have it. I’ve got food FOMO. I’ve been thinking about what it is, why I have it, what it means for me, and how to get rid of it. Then it occurred to me that food FOMO might just be another name for ‘total lack of self control when it comes to food’. Having said, that, I think perhaps it isn’t. I think food FOMO is it’s own thing.

Food FOMO = fear of missing out on food.

Sometimes it’s a fear of missing out because there’s finite food available in that circumstance. That’s the most obvious version of food FOMO, and I also think it’s the easiest to deal with. I think though there’s some deeper food FOMO happening, and it (probably) relates to how I’ve thought about food for a very long time. Now, it seems to have morphed into a thought process where I think “well I’m going to get my eating back in line really soon, so I should/can/want to eat X (x = cookie, cake, burger, chips, etc etc) because I’ll miss out on it soon”. Similarly, “well I wasn’t allowed to eat this growing up, and I’m an adult now, so I’ll just treat myself to this today”. Or, “that person drinks wine every night and they don’t carry extra weight, and I don’t drink much, so I can have wine too”.

It’s funny, but I often have the conversation with myself that were I to give up the crap, and start committing to eating better quality food, I actually wouldn’t be missing out at all – I’d be gaining better taste, and most likely better health. But then, there’s that little chocolate bar that sits on my shoulder saying “but then you couldn’t eat me….” and the miniature packet of salt and vinegar chips that yells “me too”. And it’s not about junk food per se- it’s about refined carbs that I know make me feel lethargic and bloated, and sugar that makes my heart race, in plenty of forms. I’ve weaned myself off those things once, and I felt better, and I was enjoying the food and find there was plenty enough sugar in it without the extra added, and yet here I am having just eaten a cookie from a wrapper.

I was going to write a very large blog about this, and try and make some resolutions or find actions or conclusions. But the reality is that I’m finding it incredibly hard and confronting to write. I’m feeling ashamed, pretty fat, lumpy, embarrassed, and not able to take action and make some change. I know it needs to come from me- I’ve seen enough people try and fail without their own motivation to know. I know it’s time to change, I know I’m risking an awful lot by staying like this… but here I am. Food FOMO is in full fling, and not sure what to do next.

Dadspiration

I had a conversation today with my dad. While we were chatting the topic rolled around to diet and exercise, as it so often does. I’ve definitely inherited (learned?) some of his habits and attitudes when it comes to eating and exercise, both good and bad, so it’s very easy to relate to the stories he tells me and to talk to him about the challenges I face.

Today we were talking about celebrating the small wins. We talked about changing tastebuds- he told me he had a lunchtime win the other day, bypassing fast food for a bowl of homemade soup, and I told him about my win at work today.

I didn’t think it was worth blogging about, but talking to him reminded me that that’s exactly  why I set this blog up- to celebrate the small wins, as well as talking through the tough bits.

Today I was at a work function with a fully catered morning tea featuring delicious looking sandwiches, amazing smelling pies and sausage rolls and pies, and an assortment of sweet stuff. Normally it would be the pies that would get me, followed by the sweet stuff (I have serious FOMO when it comes to food- gotta get to the sweet stuff before it runs out!) closely followed by the sandwiches.

Today I had a coffee, then after half an hour of smelling the food (it was lunchtime!) I had one small quarter sandwich because I was starving.

Yes, I had a small sandwich made of wheat bread when I’m trying to avoid it, but I also chose (chose!) not to eat any of the pies or sweet stuff- and I didn’t got back for another sandwich either. I let that one sandwich that I ate ‘go down’, realised that it was enough to get me through to my pre-prepared lunch waiting at my desk, and left it at that.

That’s a win.